Live the Life You Want. NOW!
I can run, but I can’t hide. I am aging.
Isa sa aking mga pinakamatalik na kaibigan (kung pagaganahin ko ang aking pagiging plastic—go Orgazmyx!), si Yvelle Biento Pagsuyoin-Pariñas ay isa nang certified mommy. One cool thing about this friend of mine is that all she ever wanted is to be a mom. Now that she is, I am very happy for her. But on the other side, now that she is a mom, a thought keeps on bugging me: I am not growing younger every waking moment.
Take a look at this pic:
See my post?
“Biruin mo si Yvelle, marunong nang gumawa ng baby. Ang galing. Paano ba gumawa ng baby? Can anyone advise me of the procedures?”
It’s just a joke for others but for me, the gravity of this statement is unbearable. Am I really growing up? Or am I just growing older? Or did I stop growing in the first place? I think I did stop growing up and I am only growing older every day.
I had been living a life bounded by rules and high standards of morality. Parang artista kung baga (kahit hindi mukhang artista), always subject to public’s scrutiny. Mahirap itong sitwasyon ko kala ninyo ba? Although you are getting all praises and thanks from the people I am eagerly helping as a public servant, and kahit pa I am being satisfied by the smiles I see from everyone I inspire (as they claimed), there’s a hole in me that is hard to fill and patch: my dream of living the life I want to be.
I know, some will be commenting (and texting) me again about this. Surely I will be reading on it famous clichés worded by some famous individuals who I think had lived a very unhappy life. But believe me, those people like me who are living a life following rules and standards might be one of the many who wishes and wished to go back in time and live the life they always wanted to be.
Maniniwala ka ba na I lost track of my age?
In an ambush interview (I consider), my mom asked me, “ilang taon ka na nga this October?” (She is computing the years she’s married with my Dad in prep for December 21). I can’t answer immediately. I hurriedly pulled my mobile from my pocket and started computing using the calculator application: 2010 minus 1986 is 24. I will be at my 24th this October 10 and my parents will be at their Silver Anniversary.
Now, what’s the importance of me sharing this incident? I just want you to know that from this day forward I will still be the same (Querubin) John Albert Dupaya Gurtiza you know but with a little extra. The extra is the real me I always wanted to live hadn’t there been expectations to meet, rules to obey and standards to live with.
Just an advise, consider yourself in living the life you want– not just others. You were born to bring happiness to the world indeed but you were also born to experience happiness.
I got to chat a long lost friend this morning at around 2: 30 on Facebook. As I read his profile, my eyes landed on this which I am lifting from his profile to close this post:
“i am not who i think i am
i am not who you think i am
but i really am
who God says i am”
Just one last advise, in living the life you want, do not ever forget to consider the Giver of Life.
***I welcome your comments here. The comment button is at the bottom.
I am under the weather due to colds. Kindly include me in your prayers to hasten my recovery if it’s not asking too much. God wants us to be happy. We deserve to be happy.